Can't stand it when I see someone I care about shut down and allow herself to be abused. Especially by someone she loves. It brings out the snarl and claws part of me. Though it rarely does any good. Especially when she clings to her martyrdom with a firm grip. Defense has to come from within.
In the meantime, my Protector can snarl and claw all she wants.
I'm still working on my own propensity to play the victim, and am getting much better about NOT.
and now, this quote by Ronna Herman:
"Love is neither self-sacrifice nor victimhood, where you give away so much of yourself that you no longer have an identity of your own. Love is not enabling those around you to dishonor you and abuse you as they reinforce your own projections of unworthiness. How can you expect anyone else to treat you with respect and love if you are not willing to set boundaries and send clear messages of love, acceptance, and worthiness for yourself as well as others?"
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