Tribute

After rooting through a bunch of poems I wrote, I stumbled upon the one I wrote for my mother. She died in 2004 and left me with a lot unsaid. She was not an easy person to read, having kept her emotions completely to herself. Though I had always considered her a good mother, for whatever selfish reason of mine, I wanted more of her. I wanted her to let me inside. I wanted to fix whatever seemed to be missing. Though she never said so, and certainly never complained, there seemed an emptiness inside her. I tried to fill it by being a good girl, which I mostly managed to do -- even going to the convent to become a nun, since it was mom's highest wish for me. The center around which Mom's life revolved was the Church, which she expected her family to regard in the same way.

But I eventually disappointed her by abandoning both the convent and the church. To Mom's credit, she did not shut me out of her affections, though my actions seemed to confuse and seemingly defy her belief system. The bond of respect and fondness between us remained strong. Until her death and beyond.

Here's what I wrote. . .

Sapphire Sky

 

 I see you standing tall again

         beneath a sapphire sky

                  Your vision clear
                           your arms spread wide

                 your breath a joyful sigh

          Your roots wrap ‘round
                  the place I stand,

               plunge deep into my earth

                      Your branches
                               hold each tiny bird

                            and soothe their every hurt

Oh, woman,
                    mother,
                            friend and guide

            I hold you deep within

                                                                       

                 Then touch you . . .

                       thank you . .

                        let you go

                                    to soar the sky again . . .