Unconditional

Ever so slowly, it’s sinking in:
what the wise ones have been telling us all along.
That the key to happiness is not in the dying and going off to a remote heaven. . .not in escaping to the Bahamas. . . or in winning the lottery. . . not in quitting work and laying around without anything to do forever. . .

No existing person, condition or event in my life has power to cause me grief.
It's what I tell myself. That I'll finally be happy when. . .
. . . Jan gets well
. . .my income exceeds my spending
. . .the house gets a new roof, deck furnace, floor, etc. .
. . . I lose the extra weight around my middle.
. . .everyone I worry about become well, happy, financially stable, etc.
. . .I find my purpose in life
. . .world peace happens

None of it matters,
except that I finally settle into . . .
sink down into. . .
open wide my arms and heart and embrace
ME.
The world at is is NOW.
The condition I’m in NOW.

All that I tell myself is so messy and so in need of a complete do-over.

No one keeps me from my complete happiness, freedom and joy in my world, except my own self. My belief that I “NEED” it all to change. Need it all to be some OTHER way, in some OTHER condition,
OTHER than what exists in this moment.

When I stop my relentless hammering
yammering.
Believing that things aren't as they should be

When I stop,
settle down,
Sink into. . .
The moment
Into this me in this moment. . .
with arms and heart open wide.

Joy springs forth, as if from a deep well.
Acceptance and Joy flood out of my heart again.
And it feels like I'm being unconditional ly loved.