It’s been one of those glorious “day-by-day and one-moment-at-a-time", periods in my life. Which is how life really is, after all. Jan’s illness continues to be an in-my-face daily factor. The past couple days she’s “not feeling well” (which means she’s feeling worse than her not-very-good norm). Which poses a delicious challenge for yours truly. Since I don’t believe in accidents, I know that I’ve chosen to learn how to be in joy and at peace while being with a loved one, who suffers. Something I’ve consciously NOT exactly wanted to live with. Which means I am learning and growing by leaps and bounds. So far, I think I’m doing well and I’m feeling pretty darned good about myself AND Jan, illness included.
I also know that every book, person, experience I encounter, comes along at the perfect time for me. It’s always been this way. Back in 1980, a book that changed my life literally FELL off the shelf on me, while I was perusing a bookstore. I’ve also always met the right people at the right moment. Including my precious Jan. Perfect timing. . .always. Blessings are showered upon me in the form of a book, a workshop, friends or situations that seem hopeless or trying. Or happy and exciting. I am blessed indeed.
Currently, my sweetie’s health failure is our blessing. Yes, blessing. All the struggles, misunderstandings, anxiety, etc. that have been triggered in and between each of us has become magnified. However, we’ve been learning and growing through all of it. I feel a deep change within me. It’s “Ultimatum Time”, when one’s partner is in dire straits. Which is why I appreciate the wisdom from a recent book I’ve been broadcasting to every ear within shouting distance of late: “A Thousand Names for Joy”, by Byron Katie.
Life is good. I am good. . . even sweet. I’m loving myself more by the day. By the moment.
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