I’ve been on hiatus from writing for awhile. On hiatus from my usual self, whoever she is. Recuperating from Jan’s emergency siege on the both of our lives. Guess I hadn’t realized how exhausted I’d become. It’s been a good chance for me to learn. How to back away from this person I call “myself”. How to back away from the repetitive story about my life. How to stand in a peaceful place in relation to all that has been happening. How to become the objective Observer in this play called life.
Today, I awoke early and began tossing the worries over in my mind. About money and how there might not be enough. About Jan’s health and how I might do more to help. About how much I think I have to do by myself. Sooner than usual, I put a halt to all these useless stories. Useless mantras. Useless worries.
“Stop !” I managed to shout at the barrage of nonsense that traipsed through my early morning brain.
Today, I awoke early and began tossing the worries over in my mind. About money and how there might not be enough. About Jan’s health and how I might do more to help. About how much I think I have to do by myself. Sooner than usual, I put a halt to all these useless stories. Useless mantras. Useless worries.
“Stop !” I managed to shout at the barrage of nonsense that traipsed through my early morning brain.
“Stop! Give it up! Am I not perfectly alright at this moment? In the moment before I started marching the worries through my brain?”
And it stopped. The parade of worries stopped. All of it.
An uncustomary calm took over and has been carrying me through the hours since.
And it stopped. The parade of worries stopped. All of it.
An uncustomary calm took over and has been carrying me through the hours since.
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