Everywhere I go, everyone asks me how Jan’s doing and I always say. . “As well as can be expected for her condition”.
Which is terribly compromised.
After 20 years of living together, Jan and I are no longer the "happy couple" we were for years. We’ve gone Light years beyond the romantic, much-touted "honeymoon stage". Things have happened within each of our lives that change relationships. It's called "Ratty Old Issues". Yup. No matter how hard one tries to keep them buried, they inevitably resurface and stare us in the face. Even parade around and beg for attention. Ugly old things! (Of course Jan's issues are uglier than mine).
My own "issue-related" stuff fits with what society SAYS we are entitled to have in a primary relationship. So I go along blithely expecting my partner to . . ."Make me happy". "Be there when. . .and exactly HOW. . . I need her". . ."Get lost when I'm tired of her." A bunch of hooey.
Which is terribly compromised.
After 20 years of living together, Jan and I are no longer the "happy couple" we were for years. We’ve gone Light years beyond the romantic, much-touted "honeymoon stage". Things have happened within each of our lives that change relationships. It's called "Ratty Old Issues". Yup. No matter how hard one tries to keep them buried, they inevitably resurface and stare us in the face. Even parade around and beg for attention. Ugly old things! (Of course Jan's issues are uglier than mine).
My own "issue-related" stuff fits with what society SAYS we are entitled to have in a primary relationship. So I go along blithely expecting my partner to . . ."Make me happy". "Be there when. . .and exactly HOW. . . I need her". . ."Get lost when I'm tired of her." A bunch of hooey.
Thankfully, I've had this growing realization that NOBODY could or should be all that I need or want. Ever. I'm beginning to realize that "being happy" is my own responsibility. Then and only then can I even begin to be the "significant other" to myself or anyone else.
In the meantime I go about doing my Daily. . .daily life. . .daily thoughts. . .
And finding foy and fulfillment as I do. .
Through. . .
Healing projects . . . See regular clients for massage, CranioSacral therapy, Quantum Touch
Creative Projects. . . .Create dolls, quilts, sketches, poems and blogs.
Volunteer Projects . . Conduct the business of being Chair of our county's Cultural Trust Coalition. Offer classes in Tai Chi and Quantum Touch at the Senior Center.
Friend Projects . . Stay in touch with friends near and far, avoiding getting close. Once that happens, there’s always the risk of stirring up those old "issues"again, as happens in those sticky primary relationship. Yikes!
Personal Growth Projects. . .Learning, reading, meditating, walking, growing up, out and more deeply inward to reach the Source of who I am and find out why the heck I’m here this time around.
In the meantime I go about doing my Daily. . .daily life. . .daily thoughts. . .
And finding foy and fulfillment as I do. .
Through. . .
Healing projects . . . See regular clients for massage, CranioSacral therapy, Quantum Touch
Creative Projects. . . .Create dolls, quilts, sketches, poems and blogs.
Volunteer Projects . . Conduct the business of being Chair of our county's Cultural Trust Coalition. Offer classes in Tai Chi and Quantum Touch at the Senior Center.
Friend Projects . . Stay in touch with friends near and far, avoiding getting close. Once that happens, there’s always the risk of stirring up those old "issues"again, as happens in those sticky primary relationship. Yikes!
Personal Growth Projects. . .Learning, reading, meditating, walking, growing up, out and more deeply inward to reach the Source of who I am and find out why the heck I’m here this time around.
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