It’s been almost two months and I’m still alone. No one here but me. It feels selfish, not to have someone else to consider before thinking about, going out and about or doing anything. There’s no longer anyone else’s time to consider before, or along with myself. No longer anyone immediate with whom to share almost everything in my life. No one’s face besides my own to look me into the eyes of each morning. . or to wait for me to come home.
After sixty-six years, I am alone and mostly it’s okay. There’s more quiet and less guilt and no longer any misunderstandings. There’s no feedback…agreement, disagreement, applause, joy, encouragement or dampening. Surprisingly, there’s less loneliness and more inner stillness. A deeper self-acceptance. The beginnings of a much calmer, more permanent embrace of this wondrous, unfathomable Being that I know I am.
After sixty-six years, I am alone and mostly it’s okay. There’s more quiet and less guilt and no longer any misunderstandings. There’s no feedback…agreement, disagreement, applause, joy, encouragement or dampening. Surprisingly, there’s less loneliness and more inner stillness. A deeper self-acceptance. The beginnings of a much calmer, more permanent embrace of this wondrous, unfathomable Being that I know I am.
1 comment:
A widely known saying tells us we must love ourselves before we can really love others. But it is a difficult task sometimes. How wonderful that you have the solitude and peace to learn who you are!
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