Follow the Priestess

A good day to pick a (Voyager)tarot card. Twice in a row, I picked number II: Priestess, as if I thought there were some mistake the first time. What I asked for was a message for this moment. This day. This year. The message of Priestess is to Trust my own Inner Being. My Source. My Self. Though it has not been how I was raised. . . . this trusting of myself first, rather than deferring to the opinion of Others. . .when I do, things flow much more smoothly. The Priestess is inside me and is my own exclusive Source of Truth. The only One who really knows and understands me.

This laying around flat on my back with a Virus the past four days has brought me face to face with the only thing that matters. Me, and whether I can make this Me joyous and fulfilled or not. It’s impossible to do it for anyone else. Or to expect anyone else to cure or fulfill me. What an interesting dance is my life. Born extremely intuitive, it’s a given that I sense how others feel: first, my mom, then my partner and various other sisters and friends. Whether near or far, I often tune into what others feel and then experience a crazy obligation to “fix” it somehow. Ease their pain. Understand. No matter the cost to me. Silly thing is, nothing I do can fix anyone else. And the effort to do so leaves me empty. Drained. Lost. Sick. Out of touch with what my own direction or path has been.

The Priestess puts me on the alert again to listen to my own inner guidance and follow it. Worth the noble effort. It’s an illusion that people need to be fixed or changed anyway. The only person who can change them is themselves. There is no such things as being on the wrong path either. Though I may judge them to be so, each person is on their own particular path for a very specific reason. Just like me.

Think I’ll get in the shower now and turn it on full blast. Sing some loud and bluesy tunes and then let loose with a long stream of bawdy laughter. This often works for me. When I follow my own radar, I’m fine. More than fine. An absolutely wondrous being. A Priestess in disguise.