Spreading Out

Today my heart fills with appreciation for being exactly the way I am. It has taken me too many years to even begin to embrace myself. Too many years spent judging and trying to change myself. My body, my life and worst of all. . .other people. No matter who I’ve ended up living with, eventually I find things I don’t like about that person and try to change them. Make them perfect. Fix them.

Whew! A huge, thankless, useless job.

And if I could make them like I wanted them? I’d still be unhappy with the part of me I’m really trying to change.

What I point my finger at and dislike about others is what I hate most about myself. Of course, it’s easier to focus on them, instead of fixing me. Truth is, none of us needs changing at all. Not only are we all FINE, the way we are in this moment; we're actually sweet, loveable and worthy of taking up as much space as we want to on the planet. Believe me, it's liberating to realize this.

What helps me remember my own goodness most are some of the books I read. Lately, it’s been Byron Katie’s books. Doing The Work, as she calls it. It’s changing my life by changing my thinking.

Plus, I’m having so much fun at the Senior Center each Wednesday afternoon. Teaching the Relaxation class, or whatever name I give it each week. I enjoy the folks who show up and join me in dancing, drumming and Breema. It’s liberating to share the things I love most with others. The more I share, the more I feel my own goodness and worthiness lighting up and spreading itself out over this little section of the world.