Lately, I realize that it’s so habitual for me to feel responsible for the suffering of others, that I’m almost completely unaware of those feelings. Since we’ve moved out to the Wheatland of Oregon, I'm becoming more in tune with what I feel. My Responsiblity feelings. Especially around animals, for some reason.
I can hardly stand to be around or see an animal that’s mistreated or neglected, without feeling responsible and yet helpless about stopping the suffering. I hear the whines and barks at night, and imagine them being neglected, tied to an impossibly short leash and left alone to suffer in the weather. When I walk in the morning, I avoid the streets where I’ll see them. I feel as if they are pleading with me to rescue them.
Which I don’t.
Can't.
Choose not to. Because if I begin this route, I know the rescues would be unending.
Instead, I look the other way.
I handle suffering by not handling it.
It feels wrong, but I shut those miserable ones out of my mind and concentrate on the happy ones. The ten I know and have befriended. Two of them, Jake and Sydney, live across the street. Mike regularly asks me to watch them when he’s away overnight, or for the day. When that happens, I keep them company several times throughout the day. We share happy times.
Another Jake, up the block, accompanies me on my morning walks, where we usually encounter three or four other dogs and their masters. I feel gifted with the daily presence of these canine friends, and am overwhelmed by their unconditional love and boundless joy. Some of my greatest blessings.
Thus the challenge not to worry or feel pain over the suffering of those others who are out of my sphere of influence and contact. Worrying won't help. It only drives me crazy. Increases my feelings of helplessness.
My connection with dogs. . . cats. . birds and even horses I see every morning. . steadily grows. Even their message to me is not to worry. Not to suffer. According to human wise one, suffering for or with another is useless.
Not easy for this former Catholic to take in. Those old tapes glorify suffering.
Jesus Crucified hangs dead and bloody in the middle of my still-very-Catholic brain. I payed homage to this image for too many years to be surprised at the gilded cross, rooted at the core of my beliefs.
Eventually I'll learn to let go of suffering and reach for joy instead. Still a new concept, but much more appealing. When I do, I feel lighter.
And know that the Joy Vibration is where I intend to put my focus from now on.
I can hardly stand to be around or see an animal that’s mistreated or neglected, without feeling responsible and yet helpless about stopping the suffering. I hear the whines and barks at night, and imagine them being neglected, tied to an impossibly short leash and left alone to suffer in the weather. When I walk in the morning, I avoid the streets where I’ll see them. I feel as if they are pleading with me to rescue them.
Which I don’t.
Can't.
Choose not to. Because if I begin this route, I know the rescues would be unending.
Instead, I look the other way.
I handle suffering by not handling it.
It feels wrong, but I shut those miserable ones out of my mind and concentrate on the happy ones. The ten I know and have befriended. Two of them, Jake and Sydney, live across the street. Mike regularly asks me to watch them when he’s away overnight, or for the day. When that happens, I keep them company several times throughout the day. We share happy times.
Another Jake, up the block, accompanies me on my morning walks, where we usually encounter three or four other dogs and their masters. I feel gifted with the daily presence of these canine friends, and am overwhelmed by their unconditional love and boundless joy. Some of my greatest blessings.
Thus the challenge not to worry or feel pain over the suffering of those others who are out of my sphere of influence and contact. Worrying won't help. It only drives me crazy. Increases my feelings of helplessness.
My connection with dogs. . . cats. . birds and even horses I see every morning. . steadily grows. Even their message to me is not to worry. Not to suffer. According to human wise one, suffering for or with another is useless.
Not easy for this former Catholic to take in. Those old tapes glorify suffering.
Jesus Crucified hangs dead and bloody in the middle of my still-very-Catholic brain. I payed homage to this image for too many years to be surprised at the gilded cross, rooted at the core of my beliefs.
Eventually I'll learn to let go of suffering and reach for joy instead. Still a new concept, but much more appealing. When I do, I feel lighter.
And know that the Joy Vibration is where I intend to put my focus from now on.
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